From: Despair Customer Disservice
Subject: [Ticket #: 1020637] Re: order demotivators-187495
Date: 7 May 2004 10:15:25
To: Brian Moore

Hello Brian,

You should be working for us. I admire anyone who can
integrate both the Hindenberg disaster and NAMBLA into one
paragraph, especially seeing as how yesterday was the 67th
anniversary of the Hindenberg debacle. I'm officially going
to integrate "NAMBLA bad" into my lexicon starting today,
assuming you don't have it copyrighted.

But you want good news? Well, I got good news. The email
you got was an automated confirmation message from Yahoo!
reflecting your original order. These get sent out whenever
we reship anything, because it has a new tracking number in
it. I can assure you with all my heart and soul, however,
that only the desktopper is being sent, and that your card
is NOT being charged again. (Much to my chagrin, we actually
don't even have your credit card number anymore, because this
information gets erased periodically. I guess they don't
trust us. Jerks.)

So I swear on the grave of Leonard Cohen, my favorite
singer-songwriter, who is not actually dead, but let's face
it, he's getting old, that all is well with your order. Soon
you'll be opening a package with your desktopper in it, and
raising your fists in the air in victory, much like a winning
track runner in an early '80s movie about the Olympics.
Preferably one with a soundtrack by Vangelis. You'll run
across the Rice campus triumphantly, as if the Owls had just
won the College World Series. You'll grab strangers and hug
them. You'll drive to our headquarters in Austin and scream
"Thank you! Thank you!" repeatedly until someone calls the
police. But you won't care. Because YOU'LL HAVE THE DESKTOPPER.
No man can touch you, Brian.

I am Mike, and I bring good news.

Thanks,

Mike S.
Despair, Inc.
:-(